Read Before Opening

Posted on Nov 15 in The Right Small Dog for Youby Jeff K.Print

You know those booklets of instructions that come with your new appliances? The front section almost always includes a list of cautions and warnings about the hazards of using the appliance. Those warnings are probably written by lawyers who can later say to the judge “Your honor, we warned the complainant that my client’s toaster would fry his butt if he used it in the shower. It says so right there on page two of the instruction booklet.” Who ever reads that stuff? Not me, and I suspect neither do you because it is all just common sense. I wish, however, puppies would come in opaque boxes with red 3-inch high letters on the side that say READ BEFORE OPENING. Below that, there should be a list of warnings and cautions about the contents. What could be dangerous about a puppy? Plenty.

No, I am not about to lecture on the hazards of vicious dogs. I want to talk about something far more insidious and hazardous to your mental health and to your wallet. I want to also consider the risks to the immature dog you are about to bring home.

Inside that box waits a sweet, lovable, bouncing ball of fur with large brown eyes, a cute little pink tongue ready to lick your face, and a fuzzy little tail wagging in joyful anticipation. How precious. How adorable! Let’s rip that box open and snuggle the bundle of sweetness inside. But wait. Look at the writing on the box:

Caution: This box contains a lifetime project of intensive maintenance.

• Be warned this breed’s fur will require daily brushing. Not weekly brushing, not monthly brushing, but daily brushing. Failure to brush this dog’s fur at least 10 to 15 minutes per day will lead to large grooming bills to have this dog de-matted or shaved to the skin at each grooming appointment.
• This breed requires a minimum of 45 minutes of intense exercise each day. Allowing this dog to run around the yard will not suffice. You must either run or fast-walk this dog for the specified interval every day, without exception. Otherwise, excessive energy and a tendency towards hyperactivity in this breed will lead this breed to gnaw on furniture and clothing in your home; or, engage in ritualized, neurotic behavior such as repetitive self-licking.
• Be advised that this breed has been genetically developed to play a watchdog role. You may expect a strong tendency towards barking at any unfamiliar noise.
• Note that this breed is notoriously difficult to housebreak. It may take up to a year to teach this dog to reliably eliminate outdoors. Even then, indoor accidents may still occur with some frequency.
• This breed of dog tends to shed fur year-round. Be prepared to continually clean loose hair from your floors, furniture, and clothing.
• This particular breed has been called a “walking veterinary encyclopedia.” It has a high incidence of hip displasia, epilepsy, tumors, eye disorders, adult onset diabetes, and gastro-intestinal ailments.
• The skin of this particular breed is more oily than most. It tends to produce a strong odor, even if the dog is bathed frequently. Additionally, this dog’s long, hanging ears prevent adequate air circulation to the ear canal. You can expect this dog to develop odorous ear infections if the ear canals are not properly and frequently cleaned. Also, this dog may suffer from runny eyes. Fur below the eyes will be continually saturated with tears, causing an intense ammonia smell and possibly reddish brown stains on the fur.

Are you sure you still want to open this box and pull out the precious, adorable, doe-eyed ball of playful fuzz inside?

Here is my point. Please, before you even look at your first puppy, do your homework. Read everything you can about the breed you are interested in. Know that individual dogs can vary widely in temperament from the ideal for their breed. It pays to talk to other owners of the breed to get as wide a sampling of real-world experience with the breed. You will surely find out just a how much variation there can be within a breed. If you are interested in a mixed-breed dog, you can read about the breeds that comprise various mixes. Honestly assess your lifestyle and your time commitments to make sure they match up with the breed of your choice. Then, when you feel you know the facts and you are sufficiently forewarned, you can succumb to puppy love.

Earlier, I mentioned that making an uniformed decision about buying a dog presents some risk to the dog as well. If a person is unhappy with a dog, he or she generally cannot return it for a full refund. The vast majority of dogs that wind up at the pound, (12 to 15 million dogs is the latest estimate,) are there not because they wandered away from home and got lost. Most are there as deliberate deposits from owners who were surprised to find that the dog they brought home did not meet expectations.

I have highlighted some books in the left margin that might be helpful in your research. This list is not exhaustive, and there are plenty more at your local library as well. Good luck in your research.

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• Trinket Dogs | A Small Dog says:

  December 14, 2008 at 2:01 pm

  [...] If you would like to read more about getting a puppy with your eyes wide open to reality, take a look at my article, “Read Before Opening.” [...]
• On the First Day of Christmas | A Small Dog says:

  December 20, 2008 at 1:02 pm

  [...] Read Before Opening [...]