A dog is a dog is a dog is a dog, right? Wrong. Sure, all healthy dogs have four legs, a tail, a noggin’, and most have a furry body. The similarities end there. Of all of the animals on the planet, the species canis lupus familiaris, (the domestic dog,) has the widest variety of breeds. There are 159 dog breeds recognized by the American Kennel Club (AKC). The Kennel Club of the United Kingdom recognizes 210 breeds. Both of these clubs categorize dogs by function and type. For example, the AKC places dogs into one of seven groups: Sporting Group; Hound Group; Working Group; Terrier Group; Toy Group; Non-Sporting Group; and Herding Group. Here at asmalldog.com, we recognize two groups of dogs: Dogs that can knock you over and dogs that cannot.

There are some fundamental differences between big dogs and small dogs. We already mentioned one—the difference in inertial force. Small dogs have to gang up in groups of 5 or more and run a coordinated attack in order to knock over a healthy adult. To further illustrate, a Dachshund at full charge is easier to hold onto via a leash than say, a Rottweiler, when either is gunning for the mailman.

When speaking of big versus small dogs, the guzinta and gozoutta are fundamentally different. The guzinta for big dogs can be enormous in quantity, and therefore costly. When the big dog eats, you’re talking 2 to 4 cups of chow per meal, depending on the breed. When a little dog eats, if you can even get it to eat, you’re more apt to break out the ½ and ¾ measuring cups a couple of times per day. It is hard to say which type of dog is more expensive to feed. While the big dog costs big bucks in terms of quantity, you may find a little dog also tears up your pocketbook by demanding haute cuisine. Feeding a little dog can be a contest of wills. When the dry kibble is refused, who will hold out the longest? Should you let the poor dog starve, or should you start cooking hamburger and rice for every meal? Or, is it time to buy the expensive soft meat and gravy containers recommended by pet lovers everywhere?

As for the gozoutta, it stands to reason if a large quantity goes into the big dog; a large quantity is going to come out. Little dogs tend to be parsimonious poopers. While you may need to follow a big dog with a snow shovel, a child’s beach sand scoop usually works fine for toy and miniature dogs. Little dogs do have their problems in this area. They are vulnerable to digestive upset and therefore what little comes out may be hard to, um, grasp.

Let’s get back to that whole inertia argument and reverse the problem. If you accidentally run into a Labrador, the dog is going to say “Huh? Did something just nudge me or is that my stomach rumbling again?” If you accidentally stumble over your Italian Greyhound, you are going to hear about it. Most small dogs are fairly sturdy. Some do not do well if they fall directly under foot, especially if that foot supports a 200-pound adult.

Small dogs generally live longer than their larger cousins. Even among small dogs, usually the smallest of the small live the longest. No one really knows for certain why this is so. It is what it is. When you pick a small dog to share your life, know you are going to do a lot of sharing for a long, long time.

Speaking of sharing, both big dogs and small dogs have their share of medical problems. While big dogs tend towards problems associated with weight and size—joint problems, stomach bloat, etc.—small dogs tend to have more problems related to their diminutive or compressed systems. I already mentioned the higher frequency of digestive problems in small dogs; though this may be due to the crazy diets we often feed them. Small dogs are also more likely to have runny, teary eyes than big dogs. Some small breeds with compressed snouts have problems breathing through their nose. Other small breeds have intermittent breathing problems due to collapsing tracheas. The classic white-fur-over-pink-skin small breeds often have sensitive skin and tendencies towards dermatitis and skin allergies.

Many small breeds are notoriously hard to housebreak. Getting a small dog to do its business outside can be a months-long campaign, and some small dogs never fully “get it.” I know there are books out there about how to housebreak your dog in: “24 hours;” “a week;” “5 days.” Unfortunately, small dogs cannot read.

While all dogs need plenty of exercise, a small dog can get all it needs in a couple of miles, or about 45 minutes of walking every day. Its true many small dogs can keep up with a marathoner, given an appropriate amount of conditioning, but a marathon is not absolutely necessary to its well-being. Most small dogs were bred for work around the house or castle, not the back forty.

Of all the differences between big and small dogs, perhaps the most apparent is, well, size. Small dogs fit just about anywhere—a house, an apartment, a double-wide, a single-wide, and, I’m just going to say it, a pup tent. Of all the places small dogs seem to fit, your lap often provides the best place of all.

On the other hand, even though they may seem like trinkets to some people, small dogs are still dogs. They do not need to be treated with kid gloves, nor do they respond well to being treated as babies. Most small dogs do not think small. They have big hearts, big eyes, and big ambition. They require the same training, discipline, and setting of boundaries as their larger counterparts. A small dog, as any dog, has all of the potential to be an outstanding companion or a nasty little devil. The difference is in how we view and treat that dog.